About two years ago, I didnt even know what a narcissist was... I may have heard the term before, but had no clue what it meant or just how complex the term actually was. I was dating someone seriously, engaged, relocated, ended up pregnant and began seeing a side of them that was just unreal. I had known him for years and when we connected, it was like a god send. No one could tell me that he wasnt my prince charming and that God didnt want him to be with me at that very moment. He was smooth, had all the right things to say, did all the right things, loved God, would pray for me, encouraged me... I could go on.. but underneath all of that, was a thousand red flags slapping me in the face and I ignored all of them, SMH! It seemed more blatant once we relocated, I guess because I wasnt around my family and friends, was no longer working two jobs hustlin' and bustlin', so I had time to slow down and see things for what they were. A mess.. It was like I was punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of me. I couldnt believe I was dealing with the same person...Some days he would revert to his "other self" but I couldnt accept him for that anymore after being exposed to the mind games, lies, accusations and control. Emotional and verbal abuse definitely plays with your mind. Although you may be a strong, independent woman, some how the best of us can wind up in this crazy, psychological, systematic mess. And its very hard to dig yourself out of. So many of us say, oh that could never be me.. oh but it can.. One thing Ive learned is to never point the finger or turn my nose up at the next person's situation..After what I've learned and had to dig myself out of, I definitely consider myself lucky.. a survivor.
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